...is full of plane reservations and emails containing plans and times of airplanes touching down in Tulsa, or cars driving to Bartlesville with the most precious cargo of all....
... the kids I love.
Oh, how I love those emails... the Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings under my roof... and the Blessings God has givien me in children... and their friends.
I give thanks...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Anatomy of the Heart...
When in Respiratory Therapy School I had the privilege of watching open heart surgery. I also saw an autopsy. The hearts in each, obviously, were very different. One was full of life, color and active... the other cold, still and gray. A living heart is truly a sight to behold. It is hard to describe. It is the center of life. The intricacies that make the fiber, 4 chambers and various valves come alive and perform their task 80-100 times per minute for 80 some years on the average... are quite simply, amazing. It is an engineering miracle...a designer's dream... and on top of that, there is some kind of connection between the brain and heart to house emotions...
A "full of life" heart is what the Creator intended for all. One that beats with excitement at many different things... and when poked, bleeds. I've concluded in painful times of life, and believe now, that it is in that bleeding when a heart is pricked, that one really begins to have an understanding of real life. It is bleeding, even in spurts, that makes life so evident on a surgery table ... and in our emotions toward those we love. Indeed, I've concluded that the amount of bleeding done emotionally when under duress or when "poked", is directly proportional to the depth of understanding and love in the "poking" relationship. When my Dad died my grief was unbearable, because of the great depth of love we shared as Father and daughter... my Mom, too. And today, I can't describe for you what bleeding takes place when I think of... the one with which I still desire to share my heart and life. Indeed, the one I am convinced I need to share my heart and life. So, all I can do is remember... how much depth of life, love and living we shared... and be thankful that the bleeding reminds me of the joy shared between us.
And then there is the cold, gray heart. I am not naive enough to ignore the "poking" of hearts who upon remembrance, bleed for what they never had, or can't bleed at all. My heart goes out to them, and it is the desire of my soul to give them a taste of what I've been given. But, hearts that have bled too much are hard to revive. But some do, and those I have seen turn around to fullness of life give me some of the greatest joy on earth... realizing that with God, the Giver of life, even the "poking" can now lead to that joy of life found in relationships. My hope for those who walk this path is to realize there is a bleeding that brings life... and thus, joy with remembrance. No where better depicted is this bleeding to life than at the Cross...
As for me, today my heart bleeds... and it also remembers... and that is a good thing.
Psalm 90: 10-12
As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,
Or if due to strength, eighty years,
Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;
For soon it is gone and we fly away.
Who understands the power of Your anger
And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?
So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
A "full of life" heart is what the Creator intended for all. One that beats with excitement at many different things... and when poked, bleeds. I've concluded in painful times of life, and believe now, that it is in that bleeding when a heart is pricked, that one really begins to have an understanding of real life. It is bleeding, even in spurts, that makes life so evident on a surgery table ... and in our emotions toward those we love. Indeed, I've concluded that the amount of bleeding done emotionally when under duress or when "poked", is directly proportional to the depth of understanding and love in the "poking" relationship. When my Dad died my grief was unbearable, because of the great depth of love we shared as Father and daughter... my Mom, too. And today, I can't describe for you what bleeding takes place when I think of... the one with which I still desire to share my heart and life. Indeed, the one I am convinced I need to share my heart and life. So, all I can do is remember... how much depth of life, love and living we shared... and be thankful that the bleeding reminds me of the joy shared between us.
And then there is the cold, gray heart. I am not naive enough to ignore the "poking" of hearts who upon remembrance, bleed for what they never had, or can't bleed at all. My heart goes out to them, and it is the desire of my soul to give them a taste of what I've been given. But, hearts that have bled too much are hard to revive. But some do, and those I have seen turn around to fullness of life give me some of the greatest joy on earth... realizing that with God, the Giver of life, even the "poking" can now lead to that joy of life found in relationships. My hope for those who walk this path is to realize there is a bleeding that brings life... and thus, joy with remembrance. No where better depicted is this bleeding to life than at the Cross...
As for me, today my heart bleeds... and it also remembers... and that is a good thing.
Psalm 90: 10-12
As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,
Or if due to strength, eighty years,
Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;
For soon it is gone and we fly away.
Who understands the power of Your anger
And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?
So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Monday, October 20, 2008
26 Years ago....
... David and I learned we were pregnant a second time. It was a Thanksgiving gift to us. As we had lost our first, we entered this pregnancy with some apprehension, but soon we realized, we were going to be parents in life. It was at that point we began praying for this child's heart to love the Lord early in life, serve Him with their whole heart, and to keep in His training and care one who, of His choosing might be this child's spouse. Months later Becky arrived, and years later Adam has arrived...another Thanksgiving gift! It is with great praise and rejoicing that I look forward to the day I can tell you all I have 3 sons... at the union of Becky and Adam. Little does Becky realize the great joy she brought to us... as a child and now a beautiful, fun-loving godly woman. And little does Adam realize how fun it is for me to know of whom I have lifted up in prayer all these years... and he is everything for which I had hoped and prayed.
It is with a heart of wishing I could share this with her Father...since we knelt in prayer so often together. How I have longed to share this joyful answer to prayer with him. But it is much more sweet than bitter as my daughter has been given a companion for life that loves the Lord... and her... with greatness in heart. What more could a Mom want as she lays her head down to rest at night?
He is faithful... in spite of me.
Becky, I love you sooooo much...
And Adam... I love you already...
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