Sunday, December 30, 2007

Let me introduce to you...


...Pascaline!

Pascaline is my "French daughter"! She has come to live with us for 9 months. She arrived in August. She is doing an internship for her university at Voice of the Martyrs. It has been a delight to have her here. The only places in the US she had previously seen were Oklahoma and Houston, therefore, we decided we needed to get her to Denver for Christmas to see the Rockies. She liked what she saw! ;0) Here she and Katie are enjoying snowy Colorado!



We are learning so much from her. We are being encouraged to "press on" even harder as we learn first hand from her reactions and surprise to what she sees in the American church, a thing that we have often talked about... mediocrity in passion. In France, a relationship with God and all that it brings is so counter cultural, that when found, it is a true treasure. She is saddened that our passion in worship and serving does not reflect our treasure. Maybe I will have her guest log about it someday! What encouragement for us in Christ's family to stay the course where Christianity is not at this moment counter-cultural, though on it's way, to not be mediocre in our living for the Lord. The persecuted or alone Christian cultures have much to teach us... about dying for our belief, yes, but also about living in such a way that we do not find ourselves as well in a counter-culture or oppression of our belief in Christ... a half-hearted service or worship. May passionate, service minded lovers of God come against the mediocrity of God's church... that we may be "in whom I am well-pleased."

Thanks to Pascaline for again reminding us what we have, and stand to lose...

It's been a another year...



I could have wished you a blessed Christmas... from sunny and snowy and snowing... Colorado! But, I was too slow! We spent it with Becky in Littleton, and though we missed Ryan, we had the fun of visiting with him an hour by web cam/phone! We had not seen him since August, except in a few pictures, and it was fun watching him as he peeled carrots for Christmas dinner. I just couldn't hug him! We showed him the lights on Becky's tree that Jonathan had put on... many on the bottom, few on the top... our "bottom heavy light" tree, and he his apartment living room. It was a joy! We look forward to having Christmas in July with him.

Life has gone so fast in 2007, and 2008 will bring so many changes...an empty nest, finding anew those things in which God wants me involved, having my own freedom for the first time in, ahh, 26 years. Marriage and parenthood changed my life in a drastic way and I would trade it not, but this new freedom is rather beckoning and exciting. Ah, exciting life! And this is nothing compared to my real home, heaven. Now, there will be real life! And, as you have heard before, I am looking forward to it, even longing for it, but not at the expense of frittering away the life I have been asked to live here...as a tool in a good, good God's hand.

I loved the thought given to us by Becky's pastor on Christmas Sunday...that Mary, Jesus' mother, as a member of the first church, WORSHIPPED HER SON! I'd always known she believed, but never thought of the depth, or the unnaturalness of it all! Yes, this baby grew up without sin, and that had to be life altering for a mom, but totally subordinate to a son? Worshipping him? (Sorry, Jon and Ryan, you are wonderful sons, but not worship material! The delight to my heart is you know it! Love you both!) Even as a family grows older together, Mom and Dad usually have the edge on wisdom of experience and living, let alone what they may have learned in their faith along the way! And to my great joy and humility, I have found God to be faithful to teach me from His Word, without the schooling my children have had the privilege to gain. As a matter of fact, it is a delight to my soul that what God has revealed to me in His Word... is really no different that what they are concluding in their strong education... it's just that I am more restricted to communicate it in less intellectual ways...in vocabulary and in philosophical ideas or terms. Indeed, I'm limited in terminology to communicate to you who this Jesus is to me, what He has done for me, and what He has revealed to me... and all of it is a very good thing. I don't have the potential traps set by intellect (though I love learning and listening to such conversations, and participate and learn), and I do use the simplicity of understanding what is most important... that Christ died on the cross and I am saved from my sin by simply believing He did so. That I am a daughter now of the Great King, and He will take me home someday, but in the meantime... gives me life abundantly, even amongst the junk of it all! That there are those in this world who do not believe and they too will live eternally... separated from God. Which brings me back to Mary...she realized her son was The Son... as simple as that. She watched Him die, she saw Him raised, she heard of His ascension... she believed. Therefore she worshipped.

May I worship the Son in 2008 as never before... He my husband, my companion, the protector of my gone away children! May I never be hesitant to jump into life for HIm!

Ahh... the next holiday is Easter, my favorite of all, because,

Christmas began what Easter completed!
... the salvation of our eternal soul!

Life is good! Have a blessed New Year!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Remembering....with thanks!!

This is so well said. It took me back to hearing David's diagnosis of brain cancer and later sitting by his bed as I wondered when relief would come for him in the form of our Lord taking Him home, and we here would find relief as well from watching a loved one loose his strength, mental capacity and personality...the drying up of his physical body. We found it true that those who have a personal relationship with God, receiving His gift by faith of dying on the cross, grieve differently. How grateful I am that Tony Snow has that same relationship and release. God is in control, and that frees us to LIVE...and live it exuberently and with focus... with "no regrets". What a blessing it is to rest in a loving, good God's hands...in all circumstances!!!





This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chemo-therapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, but has resigned since, "for economic reasons," and to pursue " other interests."

It needs little intro... it speaks for itself.

"Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those
of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in
America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our
mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the
height of presumption to declare with confidence "What It All Means,"
Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer
the "why" questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone
else get sick? We can't answer such things, and the questions
themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to
solicit an answer. I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a
mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our
maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We
are imperfect. Our bodies give out.

But despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of
salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will
end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the
moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can
send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic
seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of
nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact
on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into
life,- and that the journey continues after we have finished our days
on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by
a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts - an
intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away.
Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able
to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly,
exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want
lives of simple, predictable ease,- smooth, even trails as far as the
eye can see, - but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with
twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our
endurance; and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace,
we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs
churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and
joy we would not experience otherwise.

'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog
of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, a
loved one holds your hand at the side. "It's cancer," the healer
announces.

The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a
cosmic Santa. "Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything
simpler." But another voice whispers: "You have been called." Your
quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer
to the issues that matter,- and has dragged into insignificance the
banal concerns that occupy our "normal time."

There's another kind of response, although usually short-lived an
inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of
calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before
us the challenge of important questions.

The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change.
You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive,
pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn
of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness,
danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul,
traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must
have seemed the antipodes ( Spain ), shaking the dust from his
sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.

There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is
through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and
spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and
the most we ever could do.

Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with
the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us.
He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross,
he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged
for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we
acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others.
Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and
dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A
minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave
afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones
accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.

'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they
drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and
hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to
live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and
authority of love.

I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer
took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of
the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family,
many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble
and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain
because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his
equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment.
"I'm going to try to beat [this cancer]," he told me several months
before he died. "But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side."

His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God
doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, - filled
with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can in the
throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that
will help us weather future storms.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we
not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble
enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations?
Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we
might devote our remaining days to things that do?

When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the
prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who
have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions
know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the
hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the
Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the
Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!

This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit
back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere
thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness
more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with
sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.

What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don't know much, but we
know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how
bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who
believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable
place, in the hollow of God's hand." T. Snow

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Ahh, nothing like a....

...good tackle!

Friday night I watched my dear son sweat and grunt through a football game. I had struggled with driving so far alone, especially since it was threatening to rain, but I took my caffeine, tuned in my classic 60-70's rock to keep me awake and drove. I got there at half-time. The boys were ahead, but the affirmation of my efforts to support my dear Jonathan came in a gift from God wrapped as a "picture perfect" tackle right in front of me, as I strained to see everything from my chair. The tackler? No one other that my big son, Jon!! I shouted, "That's a way, Jon", and the smile I got from behind that helmet grill will forever be etched in my mind. Broad, handsome, and delighted...a communication between mom and son alone! To think I could have decided not to drive and miss one of the most special moments in life...

Have I said how much I love that guy? God, thank you for the privilege of being his biggest fan...

Ahh, there is simply nothing like a good tackle... and a knowing smile between mom and son...

Fall is coming...again!

...and I'm glad to be home for awhile!!

Kids are off to their destinations and now I can be home to get many things done that have been screaming for attention and ignored!

It's been awhile since I have felt like I have more energy to give... not so burned out. I'm enrolled in a month's long flower arrangement class and will do a holiday one in November as well. I'm doing the Bible study at church and a leadership study. Jonathan's football season is in full swing and I want to get to Denver to see Becky and Covenant to see Katie...

...How I love life!!!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Life is at high speed....


It's been an interesting spring... and summer. We have no shortage of rain. I cannot remember when it has rained everyday until the last week of July! Pictured is the flood that kept us an island for 4-5 days. it was pretty incredible.

Much traveling is getting done so that Ryan gets everywhere before he leaves. Tomorrow we leave to see my brother in Wisconsin. We so look forward to it. And, there is a trip to Denver to take Ryan up there and possible trip to Covenant to get Katie back to college. Poor Jonathan, he'll think I've forgotten to be his Mom!!

To think there is a day that none of us Believers will be separated and the wonders of this world will be uncorrupted and ready for many vacations with those we love. Ummm...

Guess I'd better hit the sack so I can drive tomorrow! I need my sleep!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Heaven...

I've been thinking about heaven lately. Lots. Many facets of my life have reminders for me that this is not my home... and that there is a goal for my living life on earth. I pray I run the race well. So, to keep my eyes on the goal that makes the hard things in life worth it, I decided to listen to Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven. I highly recommend reading it. It has been a great source of joy in support of what I have believed about our eternal dwelling, and also expands on what that could look like in greater detail. My finite mind has trouble grasping everything...I can imagine, but it falls far short of the reality of my new home.

You see, yesterday would have been my husbands 49th birthday. I miss him desperately at times. Three weeks ago I returned from Minnesota to see Ardith, my mother's cousin who is like an aunt to me, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. I have, in most probability, seen her for the last time on this earth. The day before I left to see her, I attended 2 memorials. One was for Benji Hawk, a student at Oklahoma Wesleyan University who loved his Lord whole-heartedly. He died a highly experienced skiier, on an intermediate slop, at a moderate rate of speed skiing with friends just before Christmas. (For a glimpse of this young man, check out the OkWU web-site and connect to the memorial link, or those of you who have facebook, try to locate his site.) The second one was for an 8 year old boy that died of an asthma attack. I have no guarantee that I will have a "safe" trip when I hop in the car to visit my kids...or go get groceries. I know that death is not a respecter of my plans. I do not fear death... though I am sometimes anxious of the process of my departing, and that I represent the One who has carried me through life, well in that process. I look forward to heaven...

In the meantime, I love here. It isn't the things I have, the place I live. It is those I love. My children... I love them desperately. The "children" they have brought me through their friendships at college and school. Those from my being "Mom away from home" for those at OWU... It is those I love who keep me here and loving it. Life is a privilege to accomplish the kingdom work. I want to live a life that will convince others that my heavenly mindedness is real. That there is a God whose Son died for their sin, and belief alone, the asking of forgiveness for that sin, is what gives each of us a personal relationship with Him. I do not want to be so heavenly minded in a self-focused way that I don't desire to see others join me in that eternal place. After all, this 70 to a 100 years of life is but a blink in time in light of eternity. It will be over very soon.

Eternity. Heaven. When the earth and heavens are made new, the beautiful creation as we know it (yes, Becky your Rockies, yes, Ryan and Katie, your Appalachians, and yes, Zippy, our South Dakota/Oklahoma/Nebraska prairie sunrises and sets) will be a pale representation of the heavenly. A new, unblemished creation without the effects of damaging weather and pollution will be ours to see. We will never run out of time to tour with our favorite tour guide... the Creator Himself... with those which we always wanted to spend more time. I expect that I will raise my arms, singing at the top of my lungs, surrounded by those I have sent on before me, tearfully expressing the joy of experiencing His eternal gift to me. And those I have loved, those grandparents or family that have gone before in faith that I did not know, will be expressing the same joy though they have been there 5-150 years... for their joy will have not faded from the day they came...ever new.

Heaven... "I can only imagine"... and will continue to do so until imagination is paled by reality.